"Grace"

The gods assigned this simple word to humans as the most delicate virtue of all. A virtue so unnatural and foreign. Truly, one inspired by celestial superpowers. It entails a conscious effort to provoke our brain to be in a state of kindness. What a chore, I may add. It requires our attention, our intention, and an open heart. At times, showing grace is the easiest when it involves anyone else but us. Society has brought us up to show our fellow humans grace. Share, smile back, use kind words, help, listen, love. Usually, we learn fast that if we use this concept wisely, we get what we want. The reciprocal avalanche of gratification begins! We get praised, we get that toy, we get love back and acceptance. What a treat. A Human treat. But what if, we are told, that to keep a balance in our mind and well-being, "Grace" should be applied to us first and foremost. How can we be honest with ourselves and honor our feelings, if we got hurt, if we must immediately show grace to others? Where are we standing in this equation? Are we truthfully showing grace from an honest part of our brains and hearts? How is this going to have a favorable outcome for the future?

We have been listening to the trending mantra to always be positive, no matter the circumstances. This constant societal chant of positivity teaches us to care about everything, ALL THE TIME. Sadly, caring more doesn't guarantee we are going to be happier in life. I think, honestly speaking, not everything is important. My chore now is to figure out and rule out what is not.

"Gilt" Another feeling we can hardly control. He lives in our brain, rent-free. This little nagging voice that constantly makes us feel inadequate. "Oh no you didn't!" he always adds, "Oh you should have!" and "Oh you shouldn't!" What a toxic conversation within ourselves.

This symbiotic process between our "Grace" and "Guilt" is very demanding. On one hand, something is always telling us what we are doing wrong, and on the other hand, the warm, fuzzy feeling of self-love! To get to my point, I want to write and remind myself that yeah, this is super hard, complex, and tiring. I have to admit that as a simple human, THIS!!!! is hard. So now that I am being honest with myself, I am going to show myself some "Grace". How? by allowing myself to make mistakes, and rectify them. The more I am aware that I can forgive myself, the more trust I will have for the future. Nothing is set in stone, nothing, but..... yeah I am gonna say it, death. The rest, I will allow it to be. Being more aware of my humanity is probably the most graceful, loving act I can grant myself in this realm. The human, fucking dense realm. And now, that I take a deep breath and let myself feel all of it, I am going to close my eyes, feel the sun through the window, that is caressing my thoughts, and let it all be. What a graceful moment I just had.

Hope you find yours! All my love to you.

Gabriela.