The best place to be......

How many things happen to us on a daily basis. How many things we would love to avoid, forget or relive. In honesty, we keep either dwelling on stuff that already happened, or wishing for something to occur. How many of us practice being in the present. I for one, find it very difficult, but my awareness is what I am proud of.

I am finally getting the time I need to share my story. I am an empty-nester, and almost 50.

I live a beautiful life full of color! With bright yellows, golds and pinks but deep blues, and dark grays. I am aware of the calm moments of my life and cherish them like crazy. I hold on to them as much as life lets me, and feel gratitude for the silence. Today, I can write about my journey, because I don't know what tomorrow will bring. So lets take advantage of my peace and calm moment right now.

And with that said, I would love to share my shoulder to you, to lean on. Here are my hands (words) to hold, if you feel lonely. God knows I really needed someone to grab my hand and be with me during the dark times of my life. I am not saying I didn't have support, or loving people around me, but I also chose to isolate myself with my own issues. I guess it was a personal choice, now I see how I could have leaned on more people and that in reality, I wasn't alone. But there are all these stigmas, the gossip, the social moral the exhausted brain and heart. All of it making me want to stay in my little seashell and deal with things on my own.

My wish today is that I can bring you comfort. That you can take your brain off of the pain or difficultly you are experiencing for a little bit.

I am no expert but I have been really paying attention to what gives me peace. So this blog is a testament of my experiences and what helped me.

I happen to be an observer, I love staring at mini miracles. The ones that go unnoticed sometimes. Like the tiny moss between cracks. The silent move of plants towards the sun. The gentle acceptance of the mini plants that I grouped together and coexist with so much respect. The subtle yellow leaf my drama queen plant throws me when I don't water her.

All of these mini miracles, right in front of my eyes. But these observations go unseen, once my calm turns into chaos. It has happened before, many times. In many different ways and times of my life. It shakes the ground I am standing on. My heart races. My sleep turns into a battle of thoughts with no order and no end. My face looses emotion. My hands can only grasp things abruptly. I am under a ball of stress, and it is heavy.

How do I carry this throughout the day? Who can I toss it to? Nobody wants it. Can I just start running away from it? Can I pretend it's not there? I am the only one that can carry it. I feel alone. I don't want to show the world how weak I am. I stop breathing normally; who knows, maybe the lack of oxygen is what clouds my judgement. Where do I start? Can I change what just happened, or is happening? What if? What if? What if. Why me, why them. One more time, lets do this again; I got this. I have been under stress before,

I take a deep breath and surrender to what it is to come.

In this space, I want you to find peace. I want you to trust. I want you to feel company in your pain or anguish. You are loved, you are worthy of peace and calmness. You have the ability to create light in the darkness. Give yourself grace. Give yourself a deep breath and a deep exhale right now, Repeat. Now, let's fake it until we make it!

Smile...you got this. You know what you just did? A miracle. You did this by your self without even knowing. You just calmed your nervous system a little bit. Now, give yourself a long hug. Do it, pretend you are stretching, if somebody is watching. Hold your hands together! See, you just showed up for yourself, your brain felt you, your heart felt you. You have the power, to do so much for yourself. With the right combo, you can achieve it all! If I did it, I believe you can do it too. When there are choppy waves in my ocean, I swim harder, take deep breaths and breaks, until I reach the shore. When the water is calm, well, I write.

For now, I want to leave you with this: Now, is the best place to be. Make it count, baby steps, into your wellness. Into your happiness and calm state.

Today, we will focus on being present. How? By observing what is happening in front of your eyes, using all of your senses to narrate (like you are the best host of a National Geographic documentary), everything that surrounds you. Yes, you may have that British accent you've always wanted.

I am typing a bunch of ideas, and listening to some terrible jazz I just ordered Alexa to play so I could have some soothing music in the background. I am still tasting, the Mexican wedding cookies I ate two minutes ago. I feel the warmth of my fuzzy hideous socks that do not go with my outfit. I just lowered the volume of the disturbing jazz session.....I am turning it off. I take a deep breath and exhale. I am looking half way through my reading glasses to my screen and look outside. I pause so I could see the snow melting from the roof and dripping slowly into the ground. When is it gonna get warm?

Ok so that was my present to you. In that narration, I didn't have the time to go back to my past, or what I needed to do in the future. Now, you do yours. Enjoy your moment. Exercise awareness of your senses in the moment. Do it a few times a day. Especially whenever an intrusive thought kicks in. See what happens and remember, The Best place to be, is where you are.

All my love to you. Hasta la próxima.

GG